Five questions to ask yourself before bed

The human mind is a hub of ceaseless activity, possibly one of the most bustling realms in the cosmos. Under a seemingly tranquil facade, it is theorised that approximately 70,000 distinct thoughts zip through our awareness each day, from the moment we awaken until sleep overtakes us. These thoughts range from intricate and sequential to the fleeting and sensory.

Despite this mental traffic, we rarely acknowledge the depth and breadth of our thoughts. The torrent of notions and emotions is unyielding, disordered, and often overwhelming. Within a mere sixty seconds, we might experience a fleeting irritation with a friend, an abrupt concern about tax filings, an abrupt distraction by a raven sighting, reminiscent thoughts of a grandmother, a recall of a Grecian voyage, a mental note to buy lip balm, a twinge in the knee, a wistful memory of a long-lost friend, and considerations for living room decor—and this sequence might not even span half a minute of our so-called contemplation or idle window-gazing.

The repercussions of this relentless bombardment of stimuli are significant difficulties in processing our actual experiences. There's insufficient time to truly feel the frustrations and anxieties that plague us, or to savor the joy or ambition that bubbles within. Often, we're unable to thoroughly digest our thoughts or fully experience our emotions.

This negligent processing banishes much of our mental content into the subconscious shadows, where it exists within us but beyond cognitive reach, leaving us estranged from our own array of passions and drives.

The consequences of this detachment from our internal world are profound, and the cost of amassing unacknowledged experiences is steep. Our emotions and thoughts long to be understood, and when neglected, they often regress into more troubling manifestations: unacknowledged anger can turn into general irritability, unresolved grief may devolve into listlessness and despondency, unexplored envy can ferment into bitterness. Many mental health issues are the result of periods in our life that we were unable to fully comprehend or mourn.

Our solace lies in introspection. We achieve tranquility when we finally acquiesce to acknowledge and understand ourselves; when we embrace the reality of our lives.

Regular intervals dedicated to mental digestion are crucial—they provide an opportunity to recover and contemplate aspects of our psyche that went unrecognized upon their initial emergence.

Regrettably, achieving an optimal balance between life as it's lived and the time needed for reflection seems dauntingly disproportionate. Five minutes of daily existence, when thoroughly considered, might demand twenty minutes of analysis. To truly understand and maintain awareness of the day's happenings, one might need to reflect for a fortnight. To record the full narrative of our lives would require an encyclopedia of volumes.

Nevertheless, it's vital not to let these daunting figures deter consistent, albeit more modest efforts. Carving out just a few minutes daily to process and comprehend a portion of our experiences can be profoundly beneficial. Even a basic acknowledgement of the need for such processing is a significant step beyond the norm.

Here are five reflective inquiries designed to steer our attention toward often neglected aspects of our psyche, where neglect can lead to acute issues:

1. What is the true source of my worries?

2. What is causing me sadness at the moment?

3. Who annoyed me and in what way?

4. What is my body trying to communicate?

5. Amid difficulties, what still brings me joy?

Pursuing these questions might seem contrived. Yet, embracing structured rituals is imperative for grappling with crucial matters that our natural inclinations overlook. Similar to how physical health demands routine steps and nutritional care, mental well-being necessitates that we engage in deliberate mental practices to alleviate the accumulation of unprocessed experiences.

Echoing the wisdom of antiquity, Socrates professed that understanding oneself is humanity's noblest pursuit. Hence, we should aim to be individuals who perpetually strive to comprehend themselves at each day's end, committed to dispelling the shadows within and inching closer to a state of lesser chaos and greater serenity, creativity, and joy.

Katie Kaspari,

CREATOR. Author, Writer, Speaker.

MBA, MA Psychology, ICF.

Scaling PEOPLE through my Unshakeable People Club.

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